Chewing gum for the eyes

29-05-2007

So, TV. Giver of entertainment, entertainer of small kids with multi coloured, obviously gay, telly tubbies. Drain on the electricity bill. Object needing a license, despite the fact its very hard to kill a person with a TV unless you drop it on them.

I don't really watch that much, I can survive a few days without the need to tune in and catch up on what's going on down in Madeup Land. But I do watch it the odd time, except for reality TV. I mean what is the deal with this new craze, new as in the last five years or so, of showing television shows that parade the most inbred bunch of idiots every to dis-grace a camera lense. As if they are in some way worthy of my attention. Big Brother started this cock fest rolling by selecting random donkey offspring from around the country and mashing them into a house for a few weeks, but then you had shows on islands, or following some pansy that thinks he can be Sir Alan's new bitch, or a day to day account of how much curry Fat Goody can cram down her forever open gob.

I don't like reality television, its pointless and about as intelligent as my short and curlies are, yet the channels always seem to have some reality fuckwit show on. Is nobody writing new shows any more? Or did somebody shift me in the middle of the night to some alternate world were illiterate programming is the best thing to watch?

The worst one has got to be the newest, and most twisted, idea I have heard of yet. It is being shown on tv in Denmark, or Dutchland, or some place not where I live (and by implication don't really give a toss about). The show will give the winner a kidney operation. A FUCKING KIDNEY OPERATION! Now it's either a comment on how bad health systems have gotten, that a person feels they have to go on live TV to "win" a chance at living (actually living, not that movie actor, 4000 inch rims, living), or a comment on how TV producers have as many morals as a suicide bomber in a creche. I mean, if a show about winning a kidney can be a success then I have an even better one.
It will be called "Bugger", the winner will get ass rapped by me, followed my an elephant, and finally a monkey riddled with hiv.
Watch out for that one, it will be the next big thing.

-EDIT-

Apprently the Big Donor was some stunt to highlight the lack of organs in Denmark. That's organs for transplant, not lacking in the population. Whether that is true, or that the producers pulled the plug after the uproar it caused, is not clear. But my idea would still make entertaining TV.

Blue_jester