So, driving into work today and I had one of those situations were a call from the Garda is probably in my future. But I am not in the list worried if such a call does occur because A) I have actually done nothing wrong this time and 2) I am 100% in the right, with video evidence to back me up.
My tale starts thusly: Driving into work this morning and traffic was a little busy once you hit the outskirts of town. Now, I am a passive driver. I like to avoid traffic sure, but if it happens it happens. No big deal, sit it out and you will get there eventually. Some people go insane when stuck in traffic. My dad really can't stand it. But anyway, as I am in my lane trundling along I look in my rear view mirror (like a good driver, checking mirrors at regular intervals) and see this old lady (well young-ish, probably near 50) doing some very strange things. She is beeping her horn for no reason and flashing at cars who have pulled out in front of her in plenty of time and with the indicators on. Then, as traffic starts to move, she tries to undertake the car directly behind me (while still flashing the guy with her headlights). Now undertaking is bad enough, it's even worse when you have no room to try and undertake to begin with. But whatever, she isn't my problem and I just keep going on my merry way.
That is until she became my problem!
At a certain point on my travels she became the car directly behind me and we both were headed in the same direction. We approached a junction, the lights having just turned green to let us continue, but there was a massive yellow box on the road.
Now, let me explain the yellow box, just so everyone is clear on it's function. The yellow box painted on the road is a very bright and 2D way of saying "DO NOT ENTER". The rules of the road say that you cannot ever enter a yellow box unless you can exit it as well, in other words you can only drive through them never stop in them. There is a second rule that says it is okay to enter them if you are making a right hand turn but I never really got how that rule came about. The idea behind the box is that junctions don't become carparks and traffic builds up because some people race the lights and get stuck. I always thought that just because you are turning right doesn't mean you won't be blocking traffic because you have stopped in the box to wait for an opening. But that is just me. Anyway, to be clear on the box rules: Do not go in unless you can get out again. No stopping in the box.
Back to my car trip this morning. The two cars in front of me pulled off and crossed the box, the last being a taxi who stopped with his rear bumper directly on the edge of the box. In other words, I was not able to drive through the box and come out the other side because the taxi had stopped.
The old bitch behind me seemed to take this as a personal attack. I had the horn blown at me, full on hand pressed down on the damn thing. I looked in the mirror and see wild gestures from her at the green light. I very nicely nodded and pointed at the taxi on the other side of the junction, who had not move a fraction of an inch. This was not understood and in conjunction with the horn I was dazzled with headlights and more furious hand waving. I then pointed out the driver window at the yellow box on the ground (which she could clearly see because the thing is huge and I was right on the edge) and once again indicated the taxi on the other side who had still not moved enough to let me through. More waving, more horn blowing (followed now by a van driver pissing himself laughing as he watched her and saw that I wasn't about to break the rules just because it was possibly her last period) and now shouting.
One thing I pride myself on is keeping my temper. A lesser man would have jumped out of the car, got the wheel jack from the boot and smashed many bits off the bitch's car. I on the other hand simply raised my hand so that she could see it in the mirror and held up the middle finger until the taxi pulled away and I was able to go through the box.
So, why do I think the Garda are coming my way? Well, she took out pen and paper and took down my reg-plate for a start. Why am I not fussed? First, I know I was in the right and a garda is going to agree on that point. Secondly the junction in quesiton has CCTV cameras all over it. If, and it is a big if but she looked like the kind of ancient whore that would do it just to be nasty, I had to prove her word against mine I have camera footage to call on that will not only show the young type-cast boy racer (because I am under 30 and a male I get labelled with the idiots that driver Micras dressed up like alien ships) explaining to another road user the rules of the road calm like but also show her in her little hissy fit of road rage.
Now where did I put my high horse so I can get up on it?