My New Enemy

24-01-2009


Many moons again The Jester had only one mode of motorised transport open to him: Dublin Bus.
Now this was back in the day that it only took half an hour to get from my house to the city centre, back before Dublin Bus decided that a forty minute tour of the surrounding housing estates was a must for all its customers.Back when you got a decent service and they didn't rip you off like they do these days.

But I digress, for this is a history lesson.

During my travels on the bus I worked during the summer in one of the Dublin Bus garages, learning the ways of the world. Of earning a wage and dodging the system (you learn a hell of a lot from these guys trust me). While I got the six o'clock bus every morning to get in for work I made the acquaintance of my first ever personal enemy: Manuel!

Manuel was not his real name, but the name I gave him, because he was Spanish and I was being racist! Well not really, it just seemed to fit. Every day, without fail, he would sit beside me on the bus in. I would read my book, he would start to fall asleep, the journey of two strangers. Except Manuel decided that he needed a pillow and figured my shoulder would be just as good. This was bad enough, except that he would drool on my shoulder as well. After the first time I noticed this I was pissed. The next time he decided to use my shoulder I waited for his head to just about touch it, then I jolted it and cracked him one on his ear.

It was the same dance every day. Thus he became my enemy.

But now I have a new enemy, one who is in work. His name: Carlos!

Oddly enough he is Spanish as well, but Carlos is his real name. Any time he walks past my cubical he stares at me, every, single, time. It is unsettling, unnerving, and a little bit creepy. I could understand it sort of, if he only did it walking towards my cube. But Carlos stares at me as he walks away from it as well, with his beady little eyes of freakishness.

I have enlisted the intern, who plays five aside football with my enemy every week, to gouge out his eyeballs and present them to me. So far he has failed in this task.

But he did do a dirty tackle on Carlos this week, so the plan has been put in place.

Carlos: my enemy!

Blue_jester