Health and Stupidity


It has been mentioned before that I am something of a tech-head, nerd, geek, computer person, what have you. This mainly being mentioned because I work in a computer company.

One of the many roles I have in this company (I can keep many plates spinning it would seem) is to look after the lab of computers that my group uses for testing purposes.

This lab numbers well over a hundred computers (in fact according to my little list I have it is pushing three hundred computers) that all do various tasks or are around for different projects.

Yesterday the group was sent a report from some Health and Safety morons about a few things concerning me and my lab.

Number one on the list was refuse collection.

See, computers come in big boxes. The company rules are that when you want the boxes taken away you stack them, flat as you can, against the wall outside your cubicle and they will be collected around five o'clock by cleaning folks. This has always been the way of it. Item one on the complaints was that there was several boxes, flattened, and left beside the wall at three o'clock in the afternoon (a photo came with the report to show us what they were talking about) and that they should be dealt with.

So basically the health and safety twat was complaining that something that was going to be moved at five o'clock, like it is every day of the week, was waiting to be moved at three. In the place it is meant to be left so that it gets moved at five.

This was an actionable offense and we were to report to the health and safety idiots when it was taken care of. Considering the photo was taken last Wednesday and the boxes were in the bin by Wednesday night and I didn't get the report until yesterday I don't think I will be reporting on that particular level of stupidity.

The other item of complaint was one that irked both myself and the only other person in my group that does anything lab related.

In our lab we have big fridge sized cabinets for storing machines (officially called racks but people tend to giggle because that is a dirty word). These can hold a sizeable amount of machines and have all sorts of bells and whistles for holding cables nice and tidy like.

My lab might not be the cleanest it could be, but I do make a point to keep the cables tidy because when something goes wrong with a machine it makes it a hell of a lot easier to fix if you can easily find the cable.

Health and Safety Moron had taken a photo of a power cable that was in need of "clipping" (I swear to God he said "clipping" in the report, like it's a bloody shrub) and said it was a "tripping hazard".

At first I thought he meant LSD or something, but no, he meant that a person could fall over because of the cable on the ground.

The picture showed the offending item. The only way a person could trip over this cable is if the walked down the aisle, stopped, bent down, picked up the cable, tugged it for more actually cable to be on the ground, put their foot through the loop, then twisted the loop around and tried to walk.

It is an insult to loops everywhere to even mention the "loop" that this cable has formed, or tried to form due to the lacking of any cable slack, on the ground.

These levels of stupidity have now ignited the crusade against stupid people with members of my group being the righteous knights of the cause. Our plan of attack is to order a load of signs that say "Caution, cable loops may cause tripping" and place them at the end of every aisle in the lab. Followed by signs, at roughly neck height, that say "No Flash Photography, it damages the computers" to be left around the lab.

Stupid is as stupid does and if you plan on being that stupid in my world you had better be prepared to get twice the level of stupid back.

Because I am a lot dumber than you!


Tags: tech

Mac | Tue, 10 Nov 09 15:12:05 +0000

Did you not mention the consequences of tripping over a cable and how it can be multipurpose. An example of another such purpose is a noose. Ask Frankie if he has ever tripped over one again :)

Sounds like your H&S guy just needs to make some noose threats, rather than encouraging you to "clip" a live electrical wire.

blue_jester | Tue, 10 Nov 09 15:25:14 +0000

ha, you know he never did recover from that. All you have to do is show him a fibre optic cable these days and he assumes the fetal position for an hour. So sad, poor man doesn't even wear shoes with laces anymore, all velcro and moccasins.

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