Talk Later Man

05-12-2009

I was at a party tonight where this phrase was said to me as somebody was leaving. It is a fairly obvious statement and a typical way to say "Goodbye" in modern society. Except that when this was said to me my best mate of nearly twenty years laughed and repeated the phrase, then walked off to find drink.

You see the person that said this phrase to me did not speak to me for the entire night, made no effort to even start a conversation.

Over the last three or four years a lot of crap has gone on in my life that I have had to deal with. During this time this friend, who we shall call Tim, decided that I was no longer cool enough to hang out with, for reasons unknown. As such I was sent into exile of sorts. Any events organised by Tim, any parties, any gathering of our circle of friends always seemed to lack an invite sent in my direction.

I am not going to lie, this stung very bad. For a start I have no reason why this was decided. One second everything is fine the next two of the guys are talking about a camping trip that Tim organised and I am left asking why wasn't I asked along. We had all grown up together, all school friends for many years, what has changed?

Over the years Tim has had mega bad shit happen to him, from breakups with girls he liked to family stuff and even health things. Being a good guy basically (stop laughing in the back it has been known that I do have a soul of sorts) I was there for him every time to help him get through the rough and out the other side.

The first time bad things started happening in my life was when Tim started this new party trick of ignoring I existed.

It then spread into parties that other people invited me to and Tim was there he would engage in no conversation at all.

After a while I gave up. I got fed up always making effort and trying to earn the friendship of somebody that I had A) earned years before and B) proven time and again.

I let it slide.

That was a year ago this month. For that solid year I heard nothing from Tim. No calls, emails, texts, carrier pigeons. Nothing!

But people have pointed out that I do seem to always try and be optimistic about things. So I decided to try to repair the friendship that I hadn't damaged. I invited Tim along to parties and gigs and got nothing. Excuses for why he couldn't attend and then more events organised without me being asked to go.

Tonight was a good friend of mine's house warming party. Tim was asked along. As he arrived I said hello, then watched him go into another room in the back and stay there for the duration of his visit.

I mean he never once left it.

I thought to myself, while I told my party stories to some of the other guests, should I bother my hole making the effort and going into the room? The answer I came up with was no, why? Why have to once again be the bigger man when you were not in the wrong?

Which led to the "Talk Later Man" as Tim left, which my best mate found very funny given Tim had done his best to avoid having to speak to me the entire night.

I won't lie, it was very hurtful but even more so very insulting. If anybody that knows Tim and is reading this can figure out what the supposed thing I "did" was, please tell me.

But as far as I am concerned I think I am out of the situation now, I have had enough.

At the minute things in my life are not all that great. I have a job that underpays me and I am starting to hate and so much family crap going on that somedays I am impressed at how I am still level headed. Not that the family thing will get sorted any time soon (it's fucked basically).

I use comedy as an outlet of sorts. A comedian friend of mine posted a very open blog recently about how comedy saved his life. It is true. It has magical powers.

But the acts of Tim have made me question myself. Maybe I am a right bastard and I have done something wrong.

Then I remember things like my best mate of twenty years. Either he is brain dead or I am not that bad. My college friends who keep in regular contact. Friends that live in America and Italy and England and Scotland who check the site a lot and keep in touch throughout. My circle of friends that know Tim but still ask me to things. Not to leave the best to last, but my girlfriend who I really adore heart and soul (and I don't care how gay that sounds it's true) and who really makes me just snap myself out of any "dark" thoughts instantly because she is just fan-fucking-tastic.

It is now that time of year when people get ready to make a New Year's Resolution. I have made a few over the years and kept them all. This year I am starting my new one early. I don't give a fuck anymore, the ball is firmly in Tim's court and if he wants to die being a complete and utter douchebag then by all means. I am O.U.T. out!

Blue_jester

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