I'm Behind You!

09-06-2010

I will admit, I am starting to enjoy the bike rides into and out of work these days. Obviously the ones out of work are more enjoyable, but the ones into work aren't entirely devoid of enjoyment either.

I think what has happened is my body has finally realised that I am deadly serious about this bike lark and is just adjusting accordingly. No longer am I getting that saddle sore at the end of a cycle. No longer are my lungs trying to jump out of my mouth because they don't want to deal with the amount of breathing I am doing. Everything is coming into harmony and unison and I feel bad on the days that I don't cycle into work.

Like yesterday. Without rain gear I reckon the enjoyment of cycling might be even less.

But that isn't what this rant is about, oh no. This rant is about the two moronic fucking idiots that I encountered on today's ride into work.

Out my way there is this fantastic cycle path along the road. Not just a bus lane where the powers that be figured cyclists could go as well, but a complete and individual path with its own red tarmac and everything. It goes pretty much from the village down to the coast, where it joins up with another bike path that takes me straight into work.

Ergo, it's a safety path, because more and more these days I am learning just how bad Irish drivers are when it comes to people on bikes.

Having been a cyclist for many years before driving I tend to pay a little more attention to the passenger side mirror than most people, because in general that is where the kid on the bike is going to be coming from. I do this because I know that for every me out there that does that there is at least a hundred others that don't.

Which is why this bike path is brilliant. Unless you encounter gobshite number one as I did this morning.

There I am, peddling away, not going full tilt or anything, nice easy cycle, in the bike path. Red tarmac before me, no lights ahead of me, bliss.

A jeep type vehicle is on the road to my right, driving along, with me clearly riding along beside it. Suddenly the woman (yes it was a woman driver, giving the rest of ya a bad name) pulls into the bike lane, cutting me off, and stops her car. She hopes out and goes to open a door to let her little precious bundle of joy out so it can walk the five feet to school.

Meanwhile Jester has to hockey on the brakes, managing to actually get the tires to skid a little, and nearly end up going into the back of the damn car.

To which I get shouted at "Why don't you fucking look where you are going, you cyclists think you own the fucking road!"

Now, as readers of The Bauble will know one thing I am not is a cyclist of the traditional sense. I wait at red lights and I don't think the city should be some sort of haven for those who don't drive. So I do not, in fact, think I own the road. I don't even think I own the bike path, the designated part of the road I am allowed to ride along in.

So right off the bat, she has done wrong by lumping me in a bucket that I don't like myself.

So in typical Jester fashion I lost the plot with her. It went something along the lines of:

"Listen here you blind fucking bint I was cycling along beside you for at least ten seconds, then I could see myself in your fucking side mirror which means line of sight you could as well, after which you decided to just pull in, without any fucking indicators on to signify that you are indicating a new move, and stopped in the middle of my path. If I had of been a car you would have just caused a nice crash."

Shouting never works unless your good at it. Being tall helps as well. Stupid bint shut up and just stared at me.

"I...I didn't see you."

It's a good argument, but it doesn't hold up in a Jester Court.

"Well if you couldn't see me beside your car and in your mirrors then you don't deserve to be fucking driving and need to go get your eyes checked."

With that I rode on, content that she would go home and tell people about how much of a dick I was. But I could have been worse, I wanted to say "Or next time your little brat steps foot into a bike path I will run him over." but I didn't.

Of course five minutes later I encountered moron number two.

Traffic had stopped, two lanes of it, and I was coming up along side a transit van, when this idiot just walks right out from it. He didn't even peer around to see if a motorbike was coming along (which would have resulted in a mild case of deadness for him) he just steps right out. Again with the brakes.

He turns and said "Why don't you watch where you're going?"

I could feel my right eye twitch with madness.

"Sorry, I guess I slept in the day they gave out fucking x-ray vision, you must have got the last bit of it you dumb shit since you clearly could see through the van and stepped out anyway."

Oddly enough this moron apolgised, realising he was in the wrong.

So it was an eventful cycle to say the least.

Blue_jester

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