I Scream, You Scream, My Shoulder's Covered In Milkshake


Now, I'm not entirely sure if I have ever mentioned this before, but there is one little flaw of the lady friend's that is bloody hilarious.

Most of the time.

See, for some unknown reason, possibly due to some tragic incident in her younger years involving a jar of pasta sauce falling from the kitchen counter in front of her, she has this funny little trick she can do. It involves, on a daily basis, spilling some food or drink item at least once per day. Without fail.

We are not talking the odd crumb falling onto her lap once in a while, we are talking entire slices of chicken falling off her plate onto the ground.

Sometimes it might even happen twice. With the same piece of food. You can't make this shit up.

So, tonight we went to the movies. Our local moving pictures house, to use their old name, has an unfortunate little exit/entrance problem. There is a single traffic light that lets about two cars out between changes. Meaning when three or for screens empty out at the same time it can be a bastard to get out. Cars end up having to queue for about half an hour.

To avoid this traffic jam, because we all know how I hate traffic, I suggested to the lady friend that we go to the Burger King, conveniently located in the car park (go figure), for a milkshake to wait out the traffic. Plan perfect.

Now, some might say that I walked into this situation voluntarily. But I thought that a milkshake would be a safe thing to have beside Spiller McSpillerson. I mean think about it. It is in a cup with a lid, to prevent spilling, and you need to use a straw to get anything out of the cup. A straw, that goes in your mouth. So when some milkshake makes the treacherous trip up the straw it has only one place to go, your mouth.

Despite these facts, as we sat there chatting and drinking and having a good time, the lady friend managed the impossible.

One second she is taking a sip of her milkshake, the next my shoulder is covered in strawberry icecream as she simply stares at it in wonder. Now, to be fair, she did get up to get napkins so I could clean myself, but failed to explain just how she had managed to project milkshake onto me.

It wasn't like she had flicked the straw in my direction. She had not taken the lid off the cup and tipped it jokingly over my head. She had, in fact, done nothing beyond using the straw as the gods intended.

Yet still I end up with milkshake over me.

This is a clear indication the lady friend has a true hidden talent. I gotta figure out how I can turn this into a money making machine.


Tags: rant spills

=^-^= | Mon, 17 Jan 11 09:54:54 +0000

Can you please turn this into the new roomie chronicles pretty please? :D

linz | Mon, 07 Feb 11 13:59:41 +0000

Lmao! That's just perfect! That's cheered me right up :)

blue_jester | Mon, 07 Feb 11 14:44:33 +0000

We aim to please Linz :D

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