Thailand Titbits

05-12-2013

This will be the last "short" rant about the honeymoon. Now that myself and the lady have returned home I can finally sort out some photos to stick up on here alongside proper entries for the trip.

But for now, in the same vein as the previous entry, let's go with some of the odd things that were observed in Thailand.

Musoc: The resort that we stand in for the last four days, a five star place of pure luxury that will be fully talked about in a different rant, had a nice little restaurant on site. A place for folk to come and grab breakfast, wine and dine, listen to the crazy "Musoc" played over the speakers. Side note: Musoc is actually not me mis-spelling music multiple times and not noticing, it was an actual spelling I seen on our Thai-travels.

Anyway the Musoc, which was some Thai group doing covers of a number of English songs in English, was something to experience. I am only gutted that now, as I type this, I didn't think about maybe recording some of the tracks to post here for people to listen to. They basically covered anything and anyone, from Coldplay to Madonna, Greenday to Foo Fighters. It was a random assortment of songs to be sure, but the real hilarious bit was how they were sung. It was as if the group, who could sing and play instruments quite well it has to be said, merely downloaded the lyrics and notes and then just played them. Almost like a child who has heard a very adult themed joke and is repeating it. They don't really understand the workings of it, just that the end result should sound like something.

Tones, inflections, beats...gone. Such classics as YMCA were played out in a Jazz-style. You could tell it was YMCA, but not YMCA at the same time. Parts of Californication sounded like the cast of Glee were just reading from a sheet.

It was bizarrely addictive and unsettling in equal measures.

Thai Tuc Tuc Guys: Now I won't lie, I real did hate the Sri Lanka Tuc Tuc guys. As in if ever an ethnic cleanse of job types could be done those whores would be top of my list. But the ones in Thailand, ah salt of the Earth lads if ever you saw one. They drove the same three wheeled death traps and still watched with eagle eyes for the white folk strolling the streets. They would zip on over, toot the horn, then ask if you needed a tuc tuc. I politely said no, in English, and they would smile and wave bye and drive off.

That was it.

Nothing else.

No driving on up the street and jumping out to confront you face to face. No waiting outside a hotel and dogging your steps for thirty minutes before they finally gave up. You simply said no thanks, they took that at face value and off they went.

When that cleanse does happen I will hire every Thai Tuc Tuc driver to lead the charge. The friendly bastards!

Conas a what: We stayed for two nights in Bangkok, an amazing city and no denying it. Culture, history, great people, interesting food. It literally has everything in spades. Now like all cities around the world I am sure it has a dark side, but we were very lucky to never see it. Before heading over friends of ours told us to make sure we hit a place called MBK for some cheap cheap shopping on pretty much everything you could think of.

Except size twelve Converse. I was called a giant more than once by the stores in MBK when I asked for that size shoe. Bastards

Anyway as we strolled around the place looking at everything from junk you stack on shelves to Samsung phones selling at a third of the Irish price I was caught unawares by a tailor standing outside his store.

The store was nothing special, your average suit store with some nice items on display. But it was the friendly guy outside that really grabbed my attention. Most people we met in Bangkok had really good English, some in MBK had fluent levels of English. This was a problem because it meant they just shouted at you as you walked past, but did allow us to politely tell them no. The tailor, however, pulled an ace out of his sleeve and as we walked past asked me "Conas ata tú?"

It stopped me dead in my tracks. He had said it word perfect, not like a bad attempt at something he'd seen on the Internet. Then he told me his name, asked what part of Ireland we were from. The whore had half the language in his head. For once me being a six foot three ginger was a bad thing because he said he only tried it when it was obvious I was Irish.

I had a grand old yap with him then, in English, and felt a bit bad that we didn't buy something from him because it was an impressive little skill he had.

The Wily Guys: One of the spots we visited in Bangkok was The Grand Palace. We had a map that made it nice and easy to figure out how to get to it via a train ride and a boat trip. The map was clearly geared at English speakers because it had a warning on it that said none of the temples , museums or palaces closed for anything. Prayer time, holidays, rain. Nothing. They were open everyday from nine until four.

Bit odd, we thought, but we went along anyway. Upon arriving at the palace gates I pointed out a funny sign to the lady that was written in multiple languages and was very official looking. It simply said "Beware of wily strangers!"

As we read it a loud speaker hummed into life and a recording played a message out in four languages, one of them English, saying the same as the map. That the palace was always open and never closed for anything such as holidays or prayer time.

Then up comes a Wily Stranger. Now I found this hilarious really because he was talking to us in English while the announcement was being played in English and we were standing right beside a sign warning us about wily strangers. If I had of had the camera ready I would have tried take a snap of it all.

Basically this dude was a con-artist. He told us the palace was closed until half two so the monks could pray and that he had another area he could take us to for only ten dollars that was much better then when we got back at half two we could go in. He was very convincing as well. How we both kept a straight face as he played the worst con of his career I will never know. If we were not listening to a loud speaker system warn us of exactly what he was saying it would have been an easier sell.

But, just like the Thai Tuc Tuc lads, after he made his pitch we told him we'd just walk on a bit and come back later and that was that.

Now, once I get some photos sorted, I will post proper rants about the trips.

Stupid trip that is now over

Blue_jester

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