Thailand Tales

22-12-2013

Part two of the honeymoon entries, now that we managed to return to the mundane way of life.

Stupid getting used to sitting around in luxury doing nothing all day but...nothing

After Sri Lanka we flew out to Thailand for the rest and relaxing end of our honeymoon. The first stop was Bangkok which is basically like a living, breathing, version of some city in Grand Theft Auto.

Once again we were met at the airport by a tour guide, but not one on the same level as our Sri Lankan guide. This lady, while nice, was only there to get us from the airport to our hotel in Bangkok and make sure we knew what time we were being picked up on our last day.

Getting to the hotel was the interesting part of the journey, I thought at least. Speed limits seem to be optional, to the tune of about forty kilometers. Everyone plays by this unwritten rule though, so at least they are all breaking the law together I guess. There is also some amazing lane changing skills, with most drivers deciding to use their indicators after completing the move.

Sure why tell others where you are planning on being?

One of the funky things I noticed during our drive was that an obvious genius of a man had built a metal frame and attached it to the side of his scooter. He then drove through the streets with a fast food set up in the trailer. As the traffic stopped at red lights he would sell some trailer-grub to drivers before the lights changed again.

Madness.

Eventually we got to our hotel, The Park Plaza in Bangkok, and checked in. There was nothing funky to talk about with this part of the process, more or less the same old story. But when we went in search of the bar to get dinner, that's when the cool stuff kicked in.

The bar was located on the rooftop of the building, along with the most amazing looking pool we had seen on the trip so far. Not a bad way to spend your first night in Thailand, eating food and drinking under a night sky with a bustling city around you.

We had no tours planned for Thailand so the days were ours to do with as we pleased. Having seen a sizable amount of the Buddhist Temples in Sri Lanka we didn't really bother going to more in Thailand. However the Grand Palace is definitely something worth going to see. Using a map from the room we figured out the best route to it which involved taking a river bus for a nice leisurely trip.

Without too much hassle and exactly no getting lost we found the Grand Palace. Now the map had had a strange little message on it. It read something along the lines of "The Grand Palace is never closed for anything. No public holidays, no prayer time. It is always open." This was something we found to be a little weird, more so when we stumbled across this sign:


Something Road Runner would expect to see.

As we read it a female voice recording blared out over loud speakers that the palace was never closed. A message that seemed to be repeated in a half dozen languages. As it played this gentleman stepped up to us and told us that the palace was indeed closed, because it was prayer time, and that for a small sum he would take us to some other local tourist type things in his taxi.

Hilarious, but sure what can you do but politely tell the guy that you are not going to fall for the stunt and continue on your way.

The Grand Palace itself was an amazing place. The artwork and buildings, the amount of gold. It was a stunning place to see and stroll around in.


So much gold.

The next day we went on a trip to the River Kwai to visit some World War II stuff that the lady was interested in seeing. Being a pair of nerdy history heads it was really interesting to see some of things things around here. We even got to ride on a train and go over the bridge that spanned the river, something of a high point for the lady I think.

As part of this day tour we also got to go to a stunning waterfall on the way to the Tiger Temple. The water fall was like something out of Hook. A whole little village existed in the trees with huts acting as homes, shops and restaurants. The people in here were very friendly, although to one little girl I think I may have seemed like a giant.


Like being a visitor to The Shire.

Of course as is want to happen when walking on wet stones I managed to loose my footing and took a nasty slip on the rocks, scrapping the crap out of my forearm. Just what you want before going to see tigers up close, a bloody arm.

Anyroad off to the Tiger Temple we went, a place where some Buddhist monks raise up abandoned or orphaned tiger cubs who have, for whatever reason, no packs. They are brought in from a young age and rared up to be a bit more tolerable to humans being around them. Getting into the temple entitled you to go and get some photos taken with the tigers. The deal was you could queue up and get one photo taken with one tiger, or pay a thousand baht and get photos taken with every tiger in the place.

Considering a thousand baht was roughly the cost of getting a bus out of Dublin to Maynooth, we figured we would go for the extra package.


A bit like petting a dog, one that can eat you.

Sure you'd be mad not to.

After Bangkok we got driven out to Hua Hin to our last resort. A five star place that was like nothing we had ever seen or been in before.

Our travel agent had booked us into a private villa in the complex, basically a very fancy little hut in a walled off area. When we checked in the staff noticed it was our honeymoon and upgraded us from a "garden villa" to a "pool villa".

Meaning that we got our own private pool!


Nothing like having your own pool...less English folk hogging the deckchairs.

This place was just ridiculous. It appeared that wealthy people could not be expected to walk on their own to feet, so you got shuttled everywhere in golf carts. Shuttled distances that most people with zimmer frames would consider a short walk. It got to the stage that we had to politely tell the carts we were okay walking when they "caught" us strolling around the place.

All we did here was relax, read, drink, eat, sleep, swim and a combination of rinse-lather-repeat. When your food was delivered to your private villa whenever you wanted, giving you absolutely no need to leave it, why wouldn't you soak up such crazy relaxing moments.

Of course all good things have to come to an end.

But sure that just means that the adventure has begun...

Blue_jester

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