I know my last post was a fair few weeks ago. I know that in it I swore I was going to get back into spewing nonsense from my brain up on the Internet for nobody to read. I mean let's face it who really keeps a blog anymore. The world has become a place where information needs to be instant and bitesize. If you can't say it in less than one hundred and forty characters people don't seem to want to read it.
I should be ranting/blogging more because that is what a writer should do. It's how they get word of their up and coming projects out to people. So really I should be doing it more regardless of whether it actually gets read or not. But this time at least I have a valid reason for not keeping my promise from the previous post.
Now most people that read this are going to go "God damnit, I already knew that!" but I don't care. Yes it has been on Facebook, there was a post on Twitter, we even sent around the odd email with some photos. But at the end of the day I wasn't going to trust myself to not say something before it was superstiously correct to say it. At this stage though the cat is well and truly out of the bag. More to the point the results are in and all systems are go.
The lady friend and myelf are expecting.
Well, biologically speaking, she is expecting. I am expecting her to expect.
But yes there will be a little jester coming into the world in the very near future. For now we have affectionatly named them "Nugget". Most folks seem to go with bump or baby. I once heard the term of endearment "Woops" used. All those names aside myself and the lady friend settled on Nugget after we stayed in a hotel and our room was called "The Nugget". We felt it was fitting and will most likely become the child's nickname.
At least if I have anything to do with it it will.
This is one of those strange milestones in life I always think. Not everyone aims to have a kid, or multiple ones. Some people just don't want them and that is fine and dandy, it is their choice in life and nobody should judge. Some people want them but can't have them the traditional way, this is sad but there are always ways and means I suppose. Some people have them and never planned on them and either step up to the plate like champions or do a dreadful job and raise amazing people by accident. Whatever the person the reason I call it a strange milestone is because not everyone in the world hits it. It isn't like buying a house or getting a job or growing to a given age. You can almost choose to hit this one or miss it entirely because you had no interest in it.
I always figured it would be a milestone I'd like to hit, but with the right person there beside me. The lady friend is most certainly the right person to have hit this milestone with. And while it is amazingly exciting news and something insane great to look forward to there is that little voice in the back of my mind that says crazy things.
Not crazy things about having a baby. I think that voice was strangled to death the second the lady friend showed me the positive test before Christmas and I lost all interest with what presents were wrapped under the tree. No it is a voice that says: what if you aren't up to the job.
I like kids, it's adults that are tricky. Kids are simple. They want fun and games and a person to care about the things they find interesting...like a bent blade of grass they have only seen once before. But you have to be a parent. I have to be a parent. The voice isn't doubt it is concern. Concern that I step up to the plate like others before me. That I haven't picked up the bad habits of my own folks (not that they had any of course if either of them is reading this ).
But then a friend told me recently a very clever line to help strangle that concerned voice in my head. Don't be thinking you took the bad bits from your parents, she said. It's more likely you took all the good lessons from them to end up how you did.
I know she had a really lovely point there but given I am obviously insane I am not sure if it wasn't a veiled insult .
But that is the big and amazing news story from me. I am going to be a Daddy to a Nugget that will be equal parts crazy (from me) and brilliant (from the lady friend).
Interesting times ahead.
Plus, now that I have lifted the embargo from myself I really will try and post a bit more regularly. So be back here in three months or so .